I start of this New Year being receiving yet another Lesson Learned patch! The problem is that I never seem to learn this lesson and have collected at least four patches for the same exact reason, pertaining to the same relationship or lack there of. There is much history with this person and I will not get into it as it would make clear who this person is and that would be inappropriate.
So, why did I earn another patch? Because I thought that it would be different this time. I thought that we had both grown enough to be able to re-discover what was lost and spend the rest of our lives together.
It has never been a question of love, at least not for me. I have always loved her and, most likely, I always will. She holds a very special place in my heart. The rest of the world fades away when I look at her, hear her voice and laughter. It is a feeling unmatched by anything I have ever experienced. Sure, I have had other relationships in the periods when we were not talking to each other. None of these ever made me feel the way I felt then or now.
We last spoke two days ago and I knew that something was a bit different but I wasn't sure what. You would think that after four rides on the same roller coaster I would know all the twists and turns, ups and downs, but love truly is blind isn't it. Since then, I haven't received a phone call, text or any other type of communication. This isn't the first time this has happened and, each time before, it signaled the end. Last night I kept hoping for a call or text wishing me a "Happy New Year" and a "I Love You". It never came and I was once again left asking myself, WHY?
I am sure that at some point in the future I will get a message or a call but it will be too late. You see, I have already accepted my Lesson Learned Patch, sewn it on my heart, and changed the locks on the door to that part of my life.
" If it didn't work the first time, there is probably a pretty damn good reason. Learn from it and move on"-- Quote by Mom. Right again!
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